My (brief) Sobriety Story
I grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents. While I swore I’d never be “like that”, I followed in those footsteps and then some. Since getting sober in 2002, my journey has been not been easy or pretty. Despite years in recovery, I’ve also had periods of relapses that have added up to seven rehabs, four detox centers, IOP programs, psych hospitals, and other consequences. Today, I’m an active, sober member of the recovery community and have been since August of 2016. But I’m more than just a recovering wine addict. And that’s important, too.
Why I Decided to Start a Website
Since getting sober (again), it’s been a rollercoaster between managing the daily chaos of motherhood and the peace and serenity that comes with recovery. I can’t change the past, but I can change my attitude about it. By some miracle, thank you God, I no longer carry around crates of shame and guilt about everything I went through to get me where I am. Nor do I have to care so much about what other people think about me! I dropped out of the competition. It wasn’t worth it to me.
I’ve been around both circles- recovery and motherhood. It’s an endless learning curve full of success and failure, toxic bullshit and true miracles. But something strange started happening this past year. People actually wanted to hear what I had to say. Some were even asking me how I finally got sober, or how it is that I can laugh at myself so easily. It’s shocking, really, considering I always saw myself as the poster child for how not to do your life.
Alcoholism is a progressive, fatal disease. Every year more research comes out to back up the severity of the effects of alcohol on the body. Alcohol abuse is on the rise, especially in women, yet we just don’t talk about it, do we? In fact, we sell clothing and products geared to make us laugh about it. I’m going to let you in on something… there are women in your social circle who are struggling. And they are hiding it beautifully on the outside. There are people at your job and in your neighborhood doing the same thing. And at your church. And in the carpool lane. I know because I’ve met them, because they’ve reached out, because I was them. That’s why I started writing.
Because now maybe my story can help someone else feel less alone in the misery of this disease and hear a little hope. To know that we’re all a little nuts. Maybe we can be a tribe of courageous survivors who aren’t afraid to live again. We can be examples of delicious sober living, even when we’re trapped in our SUV’s maniacally driving from one practice to the next, overwhelmed not just by the hustle of life in general, but by the shame and secrecy surrounding alcoholism as well. And most importantly, we can send the message to never, never give up.